Twelve Questions You Must Never Ask A Writer

  1. What are you up to over there, tapping away on your laptop?
  2. A book? What, like … a book?
  3. What’s it about?
  4. Am I in it?
  5. Are you planning to be the next JK Rowling?
  6. A thing happened today. Are you going to put it in your book?
  7. How’s the book going?
  8. How’s the book going?
  9. How’s the book going?
  10. I’ve got an idea for a story. You could write it for me, couldn’t you?
  11. Heard anything yet [from your 350 submissions]?
  12. Don’t they like it then?
  13. What, not even one?
  14. Got your mega-deal yet?
  15. Still no news, eh?

And one thing you should never say…

I might write a novel one day

19 thoughts on “Twelve Questions You Must Never Ask A Writer

    1. Actually, there it is, at number4! I’ve also had, ‘if you want to put me in your book, that’s fine with me’. I didn’t though.

  1. The answer to “Am I in it?” is to smile and say nothing. My favourites are: “Have you thought about making this into a film?” – sadly Spielberg is yet to return my calls; and “Why don’t you write about (add subject here)? It’s really popular at the moment.”

  2. Stephen King’s pet peeve is people saying to him “I’ve always wanted to be a writer” to which he usually responds “I’ve always wanted to be a brain surgeon”.

    1. That’s a great response. They could all ‘be a writer’ if they really wanted to put in the hours and hours, do the the learning and keep practicing, do the thinking and the planning and the writing and more writing and then the editing, and more editing, and still more editing. Oh, and develop the thick skin and the smile that goes into responding to all those questions. 😉

  3. You are such a delight to read dear lady. I can only imagine what you are going through with the questions about your book, which by the way will be published so we can all read it. It just takes its own damn time. But we will all celebrate your publication with a glass of good wine. My wife and I can’t wait to read it!

    1. I’m likely to self-publish early next year, just to put an end to all those questions! I’m in the process of getting my head around what is a whole new area for me.

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