I’ve realised lately that I’ve lost touch with what size I am – but in a good way.
I ordered some workout gear from Marks & Spencer online the other week. That in itself is quite an achievement, as it wasn’t that long ago that nothing in M&S fitted me. When my purchases arrived, I realised I’d ordered them in a size too large. As I pulled them on, they gaped around the neckline and sagged across the shoulders.
I was thrilled.
So on Wednesday, I walked (walked!) into town to exchange for a smaller size. I browsed too, and found some more tops and t-shirts I couldn’t live without. But I wasn’t convinced that my need for a smaller size in those online purchases wasn’t just a fluke, so I went to the changing room with everything in two different sizes. And then my happiness was complete, because in every case, it was the smaller size I needed.
I realise that being a size 16 (that’s a US size 14, by the way) isn’t something that everyone would be proud of. There was a time that I was horrified to be a size 16 – but then that was over three decades ago. At the time, I hit size 16 on the way up from a modest size 12, through 14. At that time, in my early twenties, size 16 felt enormous and disastrous, and I felt positively gross.
This time around is an entirely different matter. To have come down from size 26/28 (at that size, they don’t even bother to separate out the two sizes – if you get that big, you’re not supposed to care), through 24, 22, 20, and even 18… to the point where that bright little yellow ‘size 16’ tag dangles from the garments that fit you. Well, it’s… huge.
Even though my weight-loss has slowed, the journey continues and my body is still changing shape, sucking in here and there, from my ankles and knees to my thighs, waistline and even my neck. I fancy even my bingo-wings are a little less… flappy. So even though the scales have confounded me, this has been an uplifting week. Onwards and downwards – next stop, size 14. Then I really will feel properly normal again.
I lugged my haul of size 16’s to the counter. I came away with more than I intended (what can I say – it’s a girl thing); a heavy bag, but a light, fluttering spirit.
I’ll be taking a break for a couple of weeks as the online universe has gone very quiet in the silly season. But look out for my next post on 26th August – that’s the anniversary of the day I started on this healthy lifestyle weight-lossy business.